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Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America. Maria: Here it is. Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? Class: Maria. ========== Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? John: You told me to do it without using tables. ========== Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’ Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L Teacher: No, that’s wrong… Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ========== Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H I J K L M N O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it’s H to O. ========== Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. Winnie: Me! ========== Teacher: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? Glen: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are. ========== Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I’ Millie: I is.. Teacher: No, Millie…… Always say, ‘I am.’ Millie: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’ ========== Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him? Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ========== Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Simon: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook. ========== Teacher: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his? Clyde: No, sir. It’s the same dog. ========== Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

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Ketika sebuah tengkorak manusia purba berhasil diangkat dari lembah Sangiran, kelompok ilmuwan yang meneliti kesulitan untuk menentukan umurnya. Berbagai tes di laboratorium dilakukan dengan berbagai hasil yang tidak cocok satu dengan yang lainnya. Setelah berjalan enam bulan tanpa hasil, kabar tersebut terdengar oleh pimpinan badan intelijen yang lalu memerintahkan anak buahnya untuk mengambil alih masalah tersebut. Tiga hari kemudian, dengan bangga ia mengabarkan kepada kelompok ilmuwan tadi bahwa tengkorak itu bernama Phalus Erectus dan umurnya 25.141 tahun 6 bulan 3 hari. Kelompok ilmuwan tersebut heran dan terkagum-kagum. “Bagaimana anda dapat menentukan nama dan usia tengkorak tersebut sedemikian tepatnya padahal kami sendiri dengan berbagai peralatan canggih tidak memperoleh hasil yang memuaskan?” tanya para ahli tersebut. Sang perwira dengan bangga menjawab, “Memang anak buah saya sempat memar tinjunya dan tengkorak tersebut tidak kalah parah keadaannya, tetapi akhirnya ia tidak tahan dan mengaku juga.”

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Paijo adalah seorang pesuruh di sebuah SMA swasta yang cukup terkenal. Suatu siang, Paijo melihat kerumunan puluhan murid dan beberapa guru di teras ruangan kelas pelajaran Fisika. Dari suara ributnya, mungkin ada kejadian luar biasa di situ. Paijo semula acuh tak acuh, namun akhirnya ia datang mendekat juga karena salah satu guru yang juga wakil kepala sekolah memanggilnya. Setelah diusut, ternyata ada seorang siswa yang sehabis pelajaran olah raga menendang bola yang seharusnya dia bawa ke gudang. Sialnya bola tadi mengenai kaca jendela nako sampai hancur berantakan. Dasar sekolah swasta yang sudah terbiasa berdemokrasi, tidak heran kalau guru-guru di situ memberikan komentar atas kejadian tadi. Lagi pula ini berhubungan dengan kurikulum baru yang berbasis kompetensi (KBK) di mana para siswa diharapkan tidak hanya tahu teori tapi juga harus tahu keadaan nyata dalam situasi apapun. Berikut ini adalah dialog dari beberapa guru yang ada di situ. Wakil Kepala Sekolah: “Bagaimana pendapat atau komentar bapak-bapak guru tentang kejadian tadi ?” Guru Fisika: “Gerakan bola tadi merupakan contoh dari gerak balistik atau gerak peluru.” Guru Kimia: “Massa kaca sebelum dan sesudah pecah sama.” Guru Matematika: “Lintasan bola tadi pasti merupakan kurva melengkung parabola.” Wakil Kepala Sekolah: “Bagus sekali komentarnya. Bagaimana menurut pak Sugih?” Pak Sugih yang guru ekonomi menjawab: “Untuk mengganti kaca yang pecah perlu biaya Rp 100.000 pak.” Wakil Kepala Sekolah: “Itu tidak masalah, kita bisa minta ke orang tua siswa yang menendang bola tadi. Bagaimana menurut Pak Paijo ?” Paijo kaget setengah mati karena tidak menyangka kalau akan dimintai pendapat atau komentar. Tapi untuk menjaga gengsi, lagi pula dia pernah ikut nguping waktu guru-guru ditatar KBK, Paijo memberikan komentar menurut disiplin ilmunya. Paijo: “Kalau ditinjau dari disiplin ilmu saya pak, pecahan kaca tadi… eh… anu… menambah pekerjaan saya tapi tidak menaikkan gaji saya pak!” Wakil Kepala Sekolah: “Pintar juga pak Paijo, ada musibah malah digunakan kesempatan untuk minta naik gaji.”

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Dimana kuang hendak bertelur Diatas lata dirongga batu Dimana tuan hendak tidur Diatas dada dirongga susu Elok berjalan kota tua Kiri kanan berbatang sepat Elok berbini orang tua Perut kenyang ajaran dapat Sakit kaki ditikam jeruju Jeruju ada didalam paya Sakit hati memandang susu Susu ada dalam kebaya Naik kebukit membeli lada Lada sebiji dibelah tujuh Apanya sakit berbini janda Anak tiri boleh disuruh Orang Sasak pergi ke Bali Membawa pelita semuanya Berbisik pekak dengan tuli Tertawa si buta melihatnya Jalan-jalan ke rawa-rawa Jika capai duduk di pohon palm Geli hati menahan tawa Melihat katak memakai helm Limau purut di tepi rawa, buah dilanting belum masak Sakit perut sebab tertawa, melihat kucing duduk berbeda

With you, it's all about voiceless communication-
always knowing exactly what to say,
but never actually having to say it.

When no one seems to be listening,
you hear.
When I hurt but don't show it,
you know.
When I turn away to hide my tears,
you see.
When I feel like I can't get through to anyone,
you understand.

Your eyes glow just for me,
and I know you're proud.
You flash your magical, healing smile my way,
and I know everything will be all right.

You know everything there is to know about me.
You know what worries me,
what keeps me up at night,
and what shames me so badly
that I can't share it with anyone.
Most importantly, though,
none of those things bother you.

You've restored my faith in people
and proved that there is a thing
called true friendship.

~Dawn Nissen~

FOREVER FRIEND

Sometimes in life
you find a special friend
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship.

When you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit
and makes that dark and empty world
suddenly seem bright and full.

Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, the sad times,
and the confused times.
If you turn and walk away,
your forever friend follows.
If you lose your way,
your forever friend guides you
and cheers you on.
Your forever friend holds your hand
and tells you that
everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend for life,
and forever has no end.

~author unknown

Thinking Of YOU!

When I open my eyes
to see the sun rise
I think of you.

When I hear a robin sing
on the first day of spring
I think of you.

When I see a red rose
on the bush where it grows
I think of you.

When I feel the summer heat
on the sand beneath my feet
I think of you.

When I sit on a beach
another world just out of reach
I think of you.
When I see the colored leaves
fall to the ground from a light breeze
I think of you.
When I look to the night sky
and see the sparkle like in your eyes
I think of you.

When the snow is coming down
to softly blanket the ground
I think of you.

When I go to bed at night
as I turn out the light
I think of you.
When I'm old and near death
and I draw my last breath
I'll think of you.

~Rickrob~

I Miss You

Though you are not here
wherever I go or whatever I do
I see your face in my mind
and I miss you so
I miss telling you everything
I miss showing you things
I miss our eyes
secretly giving each other confidence
I miss your touch
I miss our excitement together
I miss everything we share
I don't like missing you
It is a very cold
and lonely feeling
I wish that I could be
with you right now
where the warmth of our love
would melt the winter snows
But since I can't be
with you right now
I will have to be content
just dreaming about
when we'll be together again

-Poem by Susan Polis Schutz

I will be Here!

If in the morning when you wake,
If the sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
I will be here.

I will be here,
When you feel like being quiet.
Through the winning, losing, and trying,
we'll be together, And I will be here.

If in the morning when you wake,
If the future is unclear,
I will be here.
I will be true to the promises I've made,
To you and to the one who gave you to me.
I will be here.

~Steven Curtis Chapman~

Dreaming of You!

I lay in bed on a dark,
stormy night
I drift off to sleep, my mind
takes flight
I dream of places far
and near
I wish you could be here.
I hear your voice and
see your smile
I wish it would last
little while
I sometimes wonder if
you ever knew...
That I lay in my bed,
dreaming of you.

~ Melissa Doyle

Our Love

Love is a word, not from the mind
If you look into my eyes,
My Love you will find.
As I look in your eyes
I see us together
And I know this is forever.
As I hold you near
I feel the Love
Without a single fear.
Take my hand and I'll show you the way
Our Love will grow stronger
y day.
~author unknown~

Always and Forever

I never get to tell you what I really need to say
How I long to hold you each and every day
You mean more to me than words can ever express
Without you my life would be a total mess
As I look into your eyes, and at your perfect face
I know there will never be anyone to take your place
No matter what problems we may go through
That place in my heart will always be for you
If I am having a hard time letting you in
It's because I have played the game, and never win
Your love means so much to me
I just don't know how to make you see
I don't care what people say
We can stick together anyway
When they come to me, all I see is your face
When they start to speak your voice takes their place
It's a voice that promises to always be there
No matter what they say, I know you still care
Always and Forever is what this means to me
I LOVE YOU, now can you see?

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